I Know I'm Crazy...

I am a woman with rampant hormones and these weird things called feelings. Sometimes these gross boogers take control of rational, logical thought (who am I kidding? MOST times). Well knowing this information I try to forewarn any unfortunate soulmate of my misgivings. In an effort to continue the education of my current soulmate I shall list a few "quirks" below;

1. Don't leave the closet door open when I am sleeping in there. There ARE in fact
monsters and they live in the black hole that is the closet.

2. Please, please, please keep the bedroom door shut when we lay down to sleep.
Monsters play in the house at night and if the door is open we won't know they're
coming. If we keep it shut we will at least hear the doorknob click before they come
to chomp our feet.

3. If we are sleeping in the same bed and we happen to face eachother
please do not breathe on me. I feel like you are taking my precious air and
therefore suffocating me. If you do this while I'm sleeping I just might grab
a pillow and put it on your face thereby suffocating you.

That is all for now, I will update when I think of more.