Thursday, April 30, 2009

Sexy Vampires

Confession

I'm reading this fairly romantic novel and it makes me think of someone I already have and not what could be. That makes me feel so blessed because I never thought I'd be that lucky.

Haha

My Old Boss

You know, these times are funny. They sort of remind people what's really important in life. Sometimes they even humble those who talk a little too much but lack the walk. Minus being financially down in the dumps I think this is a fantastic time for America. A good ol awakening smack in the face if you will.

At my last job, which was seriously a joke, I had quite the interesting boss. There was nothing remotely attractive about him, so he couldn't use looks as an excuse. He still had that obnoxious New Jersey accent though he has lived in the south for roughly 15 years. He thought he was the shit.

Working at this store taught me a lot but not in any life altering since, rather more in that I got to know a product I had personal interest in a lot better. That's as far as my loyalty to this company went however because of my interest I became a good salesperson which I had hoped would land me a full time position after my seasonal spot was up (no such luck). This job was probably the easiest I've ever had which may be due in part because I was a seasonal position with very little responsibility placed on my shoulders. I got to show up, talk with customers a little while, and get a better paycheck than I did at my previous job I had loyally worked at for two long years. I could not complain but couldn't put serious effort into it either, this was not my dream job.

Apparently to my boss this was his ultimate rollercoaster. He boasted about knowing the CEO of the company, how his skills kept his store in the top percentile (not the fact that this location was a main hub, the only one within 100 miles of a major city), and he always knew the answer. To everything. His employees hated him. Upon walking in the door for my first day a lot of chatter swam around the store about their disgust so openly. A little shocked I kept my opinions under wraps as I didn't know if they were reeling me in to spit me out. They weren't and as time passed I began to learn exactly what they were talking about. They even used his last name as a verb to describe all things evil. Like for instance, getting belittled out on the sales floor in front of other customers for ridiculous claims, or being dragged to a spot on the salesfloor only to be told to rearrange a perfectly good saleswall, or maybe even to have a small meeting, again on the salesfloor during operating hours, about something in detail we all already knew about. I can't imagine how big his ego felt during these moments. I wondered too if he got knocked down a few pegs when customers would call to complain about his poor choices in reprimanding employees on the floor. He never hinted either way.

His ultimate goal was to become District Manager. They make a lot of money but it doesn't matter because he's not married. He's written his family off for good and has one friend he calls on infrequently. Everyone else is a polite and very tolerant acqaintence. However, he wanted to leave his mark on this company. Sadly, his knowledge on the product he sold was severely lacking. He would confidently tell his customers he was the store manager and could help them out in any way only to have a customer return unhappy about something he told them that was a lie, or flat out wrong. In the meantime he was sneaking into his employees commission when selling to customers. He could do no wrong though and thought District Manager was the top dog position for him. During my short stint rumors flew around the store that this guy snagged the position.

He did. It just so happened that someone had left the company and now a hole needed to be filled. Some blind leaders thought my boss was a great fill in. We still celebrated thinking it would get him out of our store, free at last. It didn't. Instead we got two bosses, luckily the new store manager from South Carolina was a doll. She moved her life to a new state, her husband quit his job to join her, and started anew at this bigger store. We liked her a lot. Unfortunately, my old boss the new District Manager had a home store which was ours. So now we had a boss to boss our boss so she could in turn boss us. It got old really quick but I got laid off before anything amounted.

The Good Boss and I kept in contact (good ol facebook) and just the other day she mentioned she was back in SC. Apparently the company is doing some restructuring and she had to go back to her old store while the old boss/new district manager went back to store manager for the place I worked at. Though saddened for her I was pleased to hear he got knocked down a few pegs. I just hope this economy has made him humble and maybe, just maybe, put life into perspective.

Until next time...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

It's About That Time...

3/50 Project


Spread the word.

A Whole Lot of Awesome

Happy Birthday Mother

Hooray it's my mother's birthday! Just a short 2o years ahead of me, which I've grown to like a lot! She's been through quite a lot lately with the economy hitting them pretty hard. It really sucks that I'm not in a better position to help them but I know how resilient she is, it's one of the major life lessons she taught me. You just gotta move forward regardless of what life throws atchya. I hope she at least has a good birthday, I'm sure she will because the man she is with treats her like a princess which swells my heart with happiness. So, happy birthday mother!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Hott

Track the Swine Flu

Here

My Camera, I Love It

I'm not a huge amusement park gal just because rollercoasters aren't my thing but since I got my camera I've wanted to try it out at one. I got to this weekend and it is SWEET! I got some awesome facial expressions fromthe people on the rides. Check it out;





Twilight

I tried to hate this book, I really did. My sister several years ago recommended this book and would remind me to hop on her bandwagon when the newest novel came out. For some reason I ignored it. Not that I wasn't interested or didn't think she gave fabulous advice but more than likely it was due to my lack of reading, my bookworm days seemed numbered.

So as I spent my life doing other things this series became wildly popular but still I ignored it. Then the movie came out and still I turned my head away. Just about a month ago The Lover came home from RedBox with a few movies and one of them happened to be Twilight. Without even asking this freakish thing hopped in my lap. So ok, I couldn't pretend it didn't exist anymore.

I watched the movie and even though it was cheesy Edward Cullen was HOT. Pale freaks with striking jawlines and messy as can be hair is right up my freakish alley. I've always had a thing for the freaks in my little fantasy world. I always thought the outcast tough guy was hot and I secretly crushed on Lestat, The Crow, The Phantom of the Opera, The Beast from Beauty in the Beast. There's just something sexy about being an outcast with deadly attributes.

Anyway, after watching the movie I decided to see if the book was any better than the movie. At first I tried to nitpick. Things like how short the sentences were, how adolescent these obsessed in love characters were, and how many punctuation marks were used in a single page would make me rate the book low but then things kept getting steamier and I fell trap. I couldn't put the damn thing down. I read it in a matter of days and have asked The Lover to bring home the sequel so I don't have to go on for too long without knowing what happens next.

I need help.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Weekend Trip

If The Lover and I ever create a theme song for ourselves it will need something about being spontaneous in the chorus because it seems to be a very serious running theme in our lives.

Last week we caught wind that my northern family was heading to Williamsburg, VA for a little weekend fun. Since I had to cancel my Christmas plans last year to see them and then couldn't go again earlier this month I figured I really didn't have an excuse not to go see them. I was really itching for some sister time. Trying to be reasonable though I shot my sister's requests down at first, no we couldn't go because even though we just got a paycheck we still aren't comfortable enough to spend money again, that is until The Lover called and told me to pack my bags.

One day is all we'll spend there, he said, giving me enough time to catch up and satisfy my need for family time at least for a little while. So I packed just a few items and we headed that way. We made it in at 11pm just after they fell asleep so the next morning we caught up at breakfast. It was good to see everyone though my brother was convienently missing. He's at that age where family trips are gross. After breakfast they had this grand idea to go Geo-caching, something I'd never heard of before but it sounded like a lot of work. They garaunteed me that there would not be a lot of hiking, if at all, but it would be fun and well worth it. So we head to a park, a very big wooded and swampy park full of snakes (we saw two!!!) and turtles and bridges. We start the hunt for this mysterious treasure and about 2 hours later after hiking 5 miles they finally find the damn thing while I patiently wait on the hint, bridge number 17 which was earlier mistaken for marker number 17 accidentally throwing us way off track and ultimately making us walk in circles. It's okay though, circles became a running theme for the weekend.

My sister got some stickers in the treasure and I swear to God one of them was of a chair. Who wants a sticker of a chair?? I hobbled back over the heat (it was roughly 90 degrees), over the jeans I decided to wear the got heavy and managed to rub on my inner thighs causing amazing amount of pain, over my shoes that created lovely blisters on my toes. I had underpacked and I was paying for it! After hydrating our bodies we went to Colonial Williamsburg but unfortunately did not get to see much. We had unexpectedly spent too much time on the Geo-cache and it cut severely into our learning experience. They let us walk through to the place but we couldn't go in any buildings. It was neat to see the people in costumes and the old times buildings but it was hot and I was still in the same clothes beginning to hobble, it was hard to keep my whining to a low grumble. I managed but I guess my facial expressions gave me away, the family sent The Lover and I back to the hotel while they finished looking at some shops.

They called again to meet up with us for dinner. We ate at Joe's Crab Shack in Hampton and it was DELICIOUS. I had the fried shrimp with fries which they seasoned with Bay's Seasoning, so tasty. We ended the day with a round of putt-putt in which The Lover managed to get some hole-in-ones and ice cream at Friendly's. I was ready to say my goodbye's until The Lover said he wanted to go to Busch Gardens the next day with the family and I was easily convinced albeit sore.

So we met again for breakfast at a pancake house which had delicious pancakes. I decided this time to wear swish swish pants (you know what I'm talking about) and flip flops because really who spends all day at an amusement park? This family does. We arrived at 10am and didn't leave until 8:30pm again before the rest of the family because now I was REALLY hobbling. It was fun though, I got some more sun, took lots of great pictures, spent good time with the family, went on spin-ny rides with the sister, and cooled off in the splash zones. By the end of it we were all worn out. We looked like zombies eating dinner and shortly thereafter we said our goodbyes for real that time.

We spent one more night in the hotel too tired to move. I was sunburnt, allergic to the air, and sore from the waist down but I was happy. It was good to see the family and for The Lover to finally meet my father. Things went well and when we got home it took about a day to fully recover. It's hard work being on vacation with a large family, I'll tell you....

Lesson learned on this trip; always overpack because you never know when you're going to spend 3 hours walking in the woods for a slab of stickers.

I Have the Swine Flu

Probably not but I feel like horseshit. We decided to go on a little weekend trip to see the family and it beat me to a pulp. Add in walking in the wrong pants, trekking in the wrong shoes, and allergies times one million and you get a cocktail for JUST KILL ME NOW PLZ.

I have blisters and bruises all over my feet, rug burn from where the hot, sweaty pants rubbed together for two whole days, an inability to smell since Saturday, itchy, swollen eyes, itchy throat, clogged head, and no cure for any of it. Miserable!

However, I had a great time! hah

And I leave you with this awesome gif.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

You're Doing It Wrong

I must be doing something wrong here. Just recently I got on a health kick after having a year of crappy things happening that managed to kick me back into a bucket o' grease. I've done this lifestyle change before, nothing here is new just my new found resolve to get on and STAY on. Only problem is I'm hungry. Like really freaking hungry.

I know that when you eat healthy you need to constantly feed the metabolism throughout the day but it's 11:33pm and I want something big, fat, and juicy in my hand getting shoved into my mouth. I shouldn't be this hungry so late! I ate a filling dinner so that's not the problem! Since I've been looking at this site I've been craving something fattening, greasy, and oh so delicious.

I'm hoping if I just go to bed my body will ignore it but I usually can't sleep when the stomach is growling. Ugh. Thankfully there's not much in the way of greasy not good for you food here, I'm without a car, and really lack the motivation to break this health kick routine I've just acquired. But man, what a juicy cheesy burger would do for me right now.... bahaha

Hamburger Cupcakes!


So cute!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Internets Just Exploded





ahahaha

Funny Gym Creatures

So The Lover and I have been making semi-regular trips to the gym since we signed up on Sunday. It's actually the local Y which happens to be in walking distance so I have no excuse when The Lover has the car. It is also contract free, I just send a letter when our time is up to cancel the membership, I REALLY like this feature.

Anyway we went to the gym today to work on our fitness and then cool off in the pool. As we were busting out some moves on the elliptical we got a good chance to people watch strangers in the parking lot. I saw quite a few questionable characters. Like one group, for instance, had a bottle of soda in each of their chubby hands. Normally I don't care but they were entering the Y, a place of health and not really a good location to bring soda.

The next lady came in after getting a quick smoke in. Seriously? Isn't that really bad for you? To smoke and then get your heart rate up? I can't imagine trying to do cardio with little smoke clouds trying to escape. Nasty!

Otherwise we had a great time. It felt great getting back into that familiar motion and spending some cool down time in the pool. Now to keep that forward motion going....forward.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Do I Live In A Dumb State?

Or am I just blind? Deaf? Stupid?

In the last week the news has made some comment about the welfare of Tennessee TWICE! The first one was about some reasons as to why TN has the highest death rate due to tornado activity. One of the reasons was the higher number of mobile homes in the state. Really? I mean I know this place is country but I didn't realize it was THAT bad.

In the second story a Tennessee couple got scammed into signing for a $5,000 loan with 59% interest and one of the direct quotes from the victim was ""I ain't got no knowledge of spelling and writing, but the Lord gave me a good memory," says Kay Brown. "And I know they never said anything about 59 percent interest." What? Are you kidding me? I feel that people who directly quote something like that do so with a sneer on their dirty faces. No good can come of it.

Granted, I've been a bit of a gypsy moving all over the Eastern United States and spending most of that time in the North so I have a taste for the different cultures but the representation of Tennessee seems a little extreme. Granted, I still proudly call myself a Yankee and believe the pre-college education is of a higher standard in the North but TN is getting a bad rap. I've lived in far worst cities for sure. At least the people here are nice and considerate. If you stay in the little bubble of civilization you meet some intelligent AND friendly folk. You get to see the mountains everyday and life seems to go at a little slower pace than in the north.

Maybe instead of poking fun we should turn our efforts to improving these issues and stopping the ignorance(Yeah right).

Stupid Banks

Now, after years of paying via the phone my bank that so nicely loaned me enough money for a car is trying to charge me a $15 convenience fee for getting their payment faster. So instead of paying something so unnecessary by helping them I replied in kind that they were stupidheads and will gladly send a check. And here I thought the world was trying to wipe checks off the face of the Earth.

STUPIDSTUPID

Sunday, April 19, 2009

A Few Updates

A few good reasons to find the day delightful, practice makes perfect right?

-Though yesterday was a big fat FAIL on the gym notion today was much better. It feels good to be back in that environment again.

-I ate brussel sprouts for dinner and didn't spit them back out though I couldn't help the squishy nose face. Things that smell like fart often taste like fart unless you douse them in lemon juice and pepper.

-We have a retarded fish. My sister and I were talking the other day about the new batch we added to our tank and she mentioned the Retarded One that always seems to pop up in fish tanks. This one is a shiny Pictus Catfish that just LOVES swimming circles around the suction cups to the heater almost as much as bumping full speed into the glass or following the magnetic algae cleaner in hopes of getting squished. He's special.

-No more room for the weekly bouquets! We have acquired so many plants I can't justify buying flower arrangements! The Lover has tried convincing me to put a vase in the bathroom so we can literally smell the flowers as we fertilize but I'm not quite there yet. We have this HUGE beautiful Birds of Paradise that is such an attention demanding centerpiece. Love it!

-I bought the Twilight book to see what all the hype is though I've neglected it thus far. My sister insists it's fantastic and I'll trust her judgment since she was a fan long before people even knew who Edward Cullen was.

-My allergies have been a blessing in disguise of sorts. Having gone from fantastic mountain air filling my lungs to feeling my sinuses close up while sneezing my life away has led me to invest in some allergy medicine. For some reason this medicine knocks me on my back around ten pm so I get a full nights sleep instead of the usual bed by 2am up at noon routine, yuck.

-The Lover's first paycheck! What a relief! Seriously, I nearly cried when it hit his account. We were worried for so long if moving was a wise choice and now we can settle in the little more comfortably instead of feeling like bandits ready to jump at any movement. Now, time to save up that nest egg.

-Memory foam. Thank goodness for technology. The painful spring bed has turned into a tolerable and almost comfortable cocoon. This will do until we save up enough for a mattress then we can transfer the pillow top to the guest bed because that is equally as painful.

Good things to be grateful for. Still some worries up ahead but we're looking to sail through them. Looking good so far....

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Drunk at 3pm

I don't drink very often, hardly at all in fact. I have it in my head that when I do drink I should have drunk as a goal and to stop wasting my time otherwise. So I usually stick to other things when drunk just won't fit into the schedule. Today was not one of those days. Today was the perfect day to get a gym membership, wash the car from head to toe, then go to a bar and drink away the afternoon. While munching on wings. So we did.

And in my summer dress I got to hobble downtown back to our loft. I hope I didn't look as silly as I felt. It was probably the most perfect way to spend a bright Spring-y day in Tennessee.

Did I mention the gym membership? Yeah, I was all gung-ho to get started on getting back into shape when The Lover mentioned wings. Then it spiraled. I think I still won, however, since we actually signed up for a membership. Oh yes, it counts.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My Sister

We talked all day today and it was great. My phone eventually died as we were talking about God knows what. So far we've made plans to have a sister only trip to somewhere awesome, for our future Fripp Island trip, for the future. We laughed about things from the past and goobers in the present. I hired her as my spy and we made sure my brother was staying safely in US soil. We had a good time and I can't wait to see her soon!

Stepparents Have it Rough

FML

"Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML"



Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Easter

The Lover decided to surprise me by taking me to my mothers place for Easter. This was far too nice of him since he had just been out of town for a week and on the day he drove home he picked me up to drive another 4 hours to my home. Such a selfless sweet thing to do and I was so appreciative of it.

We had a great time, I hadn't seen any of my family since July and that was a really rough period as it was. It still breaks my heart to think about the cancellation I had to make to visit family during Christmas so it was nice to see some of my own blood again.

I got to catch up with my mother and grandparents. We went out looking for flowers and herbs one day and it got me really excited about gardening which is a new thing for me. I tend to kill plants but I'm hoping with The Lover's help I can get SOMETHING besides Bamboo to grow. We purchased a beautiful tall orchid that we hope will stay alive. The Lover has good luck with orchids so I'm hopeful.

We managed to eat, a lot! My stepfather is a chef and I think I ate more that weekend than I did the entire week! It was all delicious.

The Lover and I were also reminded of the horrid allergies in that region. It managed to knock us both down for at least a day. I'm still not fully recovered and I hate these days that go wasted because I can't move. I guess that's another plus for this mountain air.

So that was my Easter weekend. It was fantastic.

A List

10 Entrepreneurial Concepts to Live By

Ten tenets for any successful startup business:

1. Always work with people who are better than you. You can only do a few things really well. One of them should be understanding your weaknesses and looking for the best possible help to fill the gaps. Seek help to manage MOST of everything else it takes to run a successful business. Hire people who will do a better job than you.

2. Treat everyone with the highest regards and pay the people who work for you greater than their value. While most people do not want to be leaders, most people want to feel good about themselves and be fulfilled. If people are paid better than normal, have good benefits and get a lot of appraisal and bonuses, they will be happier in life and in return will likely be more productive too. The smallest gestures, even for a poor company such as adding a bit more onto a pay check (giving surprise bonuses), paying for a cab - paying for lunch, all go a really long way. The greatest implementation of value for people is to have positions that allow for infinite growth. Nobody that works for you should ever have a fixed ceiling of opportunity. Consider cutting back on material expenses and pay more for people. Aspire for everyone to have a greater life-style. No matter how important your business is, this is life we are talking about and it’s short. While being caught up with speed towards the future, remember others who live for the day.

3. Do everything right and fair. Make sure that you are always honorable, especially with yourself. Live up to your oral agreements. When it comes to operating your business, make sure and set it up correctly - pay every cent of tax that you legally owe. As long as you take the extra effort to do things right, you will eliminate a huge amount of stress. Even knowing yourself that you are keeping everything in order will make you feel better about yourself on a day-to-day basis. The people that work for you will also take you more seriously and also feel better themselves.

4. Learn to love consequence and happenstance. Things will happen all the time that will throw off your plans. Turn the stress around and into a challenge. Use the opportunity to think of new opportunities. Perhaps there are many new paths to take that you would like even more. Consequence is the stuff that artists dream of; It’s what creates new technologies and drives innovation.

5. Be transparent. This is almost cliche now, though this is why it is important and should not be missed: Without disregard for being humble, the more you reveal, the more people will understand where you are coming from. It’s not about blurting out some statement suddenly. It takes time to show yourself, who you really are. This motto applies to most aspects of life and business. The idea behind transparency is much more of a human personality trait. It’s for you yourself and the people that you care about; It’s for the audience that want to know when they ask; It gets to be that you no longer even think of this idea, it just becomes a part of your lifestyle. When you are fair, transparency will occur naturally because you will be proud and secure to reveal your true thinking.

6. Create a comfortable environment. A girl friend once told me about a miserable phase she went though when she and one of her girl friends were living in a basement with no windows, lots of dogs, mildew, low ceilings, old carpet, low lighting, etc. It sounded dreary to say the least. She wasn’t aware of the concept of space enough to understand that it was drastically effecting her mood. When she moved into a more comfortable apartment that was full of light and had higher ceilings, she regained her spirit. Having a great work environment is just the same. And websites are like spaces too. When you create your physical space or your space online, consider making it comfortable as possible.

7. Listen to your audience, friends and advisors. The more you can get feedback and audience participation, the more you will understand the positive and negative effects of your efforts. The more you understand the effects you are having, the more you can understand what to do in the future. If you trust yourself to filter the ideas and information that others give you, be quiet and listen more often. Allow the audience/journalists/experts in your field to describe your activity for you.

8. Have spirit!

9. Time is of the essence. It starts with the age-old model of speed that can be applied to everything in life. In a war, for instance, the side that obtains the information first about where the other side is will have the advantage; The investor who knows the news first will have the stock advantage. The technologist who creates the first this-or-that will have that advantage to begin with. Speed=Potential. If you have something new, take action before it becomes old.

10. Stay in control by giving control away. The more you give up control to others, the happier everyone will be. Not only will the people who work for you be happier, it will allow you more time to focus on the things you do best.

Monday, April 13, 2009

On The Road

You see sights like these...


Roadtrips

I love them and I think it's the person that makes them so much fun. Usually being stuck in the car as a passenger is boring and a good time to catch up on sleep but not for me! I get the luck of riding with an interesting character so that even a Benadryl induced coma stays at bay. What I'm trying to say is you really know if you're compatible with someone after spending 4 hours stuck in a car with them.

Friday, April 10, 2009

lollers

Why ME?!

That phrase, my friends, is a funny one. It usually bugs me when people say that because it implies that they are the only one with a steaming pile of shit bag in their life. WHY ME?! Their tunnel vision forces them to view this singular problem as an attack meant only for them.

When I say it I typically mean WHAT SIGNIFICANCE DOES THIS PROBLEM HAVE FOR ME?? and what am I supposed to take away from this? Why ME??? As in, this issue, problem, or shitbag is on my lap for some reason, what am I supposed to take away from it when resolved??

But no, not this time folks, this time I meant the former. WHY ME?

See, yesterday I was chilling on my computer minding my own business, discussing the details of the visit with my mother when this little window down by my task bar pops up say WARNING: YOU HAVE A VIRUS, CLICK HERE TO REMOVE. Problem was I've never seen this program before. It was called Spyware Protect 2009 which made me suspicious right from the getgo. I was pretty sure I didn't HAVE any protection on this computer and knew for a fact that I did not upgrade to a 2009 version of it. So I clicked it away hoping it would disappear but oh no, not this one my friends.

It had three separate pop ups to inform me a virus was attacking my computer. Three ANNOYING pop ups that would not allow you to click on something else until you paid attention to it. It seems this virus alert was in all actuality a virus itself!

So I Googled the program name and BAM a big list of results shows up with words like MALWARE, VIRUS, WARNING... WHY ME?? I click through searching for some free program to get rid of the issue and be done with it, however, no such thing exists. They have these pay for programs and then a very kind instruction manual that tells you how to remove it yourself complete with a scary warning saying "Doing this yourself may cause your system to crash or to lose important information, we recommend creating a back up of your files before starting. Or hey, just purchase my product" WHY ME??????

Great! Well, I'm not a computer moron so I thought I would give the manual version a try. I managed to get the pop ups to stop but couldn't find a way to delete the damn thing. Finally, a few college nerds sent me a link for a free program that would get rid of it. At 1:30am I ran the scan and it didn't stop until 3:30am. In the meantime I tried surfing the internet to keep me awake but the VIRUS made my cursor jump all around so it looked like I was typing Japanese. It took me literally fifteen minutes to type a damn sentence. I felt like the evil virus knew I was in the process of eliminating it so it was giving one last pow to the kisser before dying. The malware program found TEN infected objects on my computer and removed them. When I booted it back up my computer ran faster than I've ever known it to. So now I guess we know "why me".

Thursday, April 9, 2009

NOT Open for Interpretation

Oh me, I just love finding silly shit on the internet. This one is a goody. This guy tried to surprise his wife with flowers at her workplace for no reason at all other than that he loved her (cue; Awwwwww) so he called a company to request a beautiful arrangement and this is what happened.

This morning I was feeling like the honorable husband and looked at the local florist's website to find a unique flower arrangement to surprise my wife at work.

I don't do this too often, so I figured I can get something pretty nice. I ordered this (pic attached) real unique item for almost $100 (like I said, I don't do this often).

So because it's so unique, I call and order it over the phone, used my credit card, and gave the florist the number that was listed on the website for the arrangement. I even got nervous after I hung up the phone and called back to verify they got the right order number and it was indeed the orange roses with river rocks.

At around 1:30, I get the "Thank you so much" phone call, and she was thrilled. I asked "Well what do they look like?" That's when the disappointment set in. I'm thinking to myself, do I tell her that's not right, or just go with the flow? I decided that it didn't sound anything like what I ordered and told her to go ahead and bring them home, I'd like to take a look at them too.

I get home and find this. I was very dissatisfied, called the florist, and they went on about how "they thought it was pretty enough, and it was close to the picture and they didn't have a square vase." I asked them why they didn't call me and tell me they couldn't make it look the same...they said because it looked close enough and they thought it was close enough to what I ordered that it wouldn't be that big of a difference. They said they were willing to make me happy, so they're going to "call around and find a square vase", and let me know if they can find one.

I guess the plan is for them to make another arrangement like the picture, but I'm not sure I like this... I know flowers are going to look a little different than the picture, but is this right?

I blacked out their contact info because I don't want to shame them at this point, but what would you all do?








I love how the arrangement looks NOTHING like what he ordered and the balls they had to say it was GUD ENUF. Oh bother...

Park Update!

Due to the gorgeous weather outside Caesar and I were able to hit the park today. We didn't stay long because some old man decided to let his lhasa-that-doesn't-listen-well-but-is-off-leash-anyways run around and harass my pooch. Caesar loved it, however, and I could almost see his thoughts running back to a time when he went to play with lots of little dogs everyday. Hopefully a puppy will fix his desire (hehe).

Anyway, I took a quick glance at the waterway and all seems the same. No eggs still so I'm beginning to lose hope in having the opportunity to photograph some cute little chicks. Broken was there but I didn't see Hobble though it would be hard to discern if he was in the water since it's his leg that's deformed and not wing like Broken.

The Beasts still reside at this little hole in the city. The Lover and I were beginning to think they had left since their attempt to breed failed so miserably. They didn't seem to bother anybody today.

Someone clipped the willow trees branches back so they no longer cascade into the water which is a pity. The trees that line the walkway look like they've browned from the unusual freeze a few days back but on closer inspection they're really just millions of helicopter seeds getting ready to annoy the heck out of everyone and everything.

Oh, and the giant helicopter is still there....

Love This Song



Yes, that's him freestyling..

Powerful Quote

and long running theme song. I believe in this 190% and this is how I live my life.

"...the moment one definitely commits oneself then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. ...Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now." -Goethe

Charleston, SC




I would very much like to root there. It is near the beach, one, and it is metropolitan enough that I won't feel totally secluded nor bombarded by tourists, like, say Myrtle Beach. Charleston is fantastically photogenic and home to several creative like minded people. It also has so much history!

Before we moved where we are now we were split between the two locations. We drove out to the coast of South Carolina to see what we could find not really knowing much about it except it had a beach. It was a fantastic get away from all the stress we were dealing with at the time. Charleston seemed to exceed all of our expectations for our settling down city.

When we rented the U-Haul to come where we are living now there was an ad on the side for Charleston's submarine and we couldn't help but take it as a sign. So one day, our happy butts will be making daily trips to the beach instead of the park, we will no longer complain about snow but maybe hurricanes instead, and we will be the happiest couple to ever live. haha

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

OHMYWANT

FML

There is this website that people can go to to post bad things that have happened to them, hence the "fuck my life" or "FML" part. Some of these are pretty damn hilarious.

Enjoy;

Disclaimer: these are not for the easily offended

"Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML"

"Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himslef to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my sex toys out where a child could get them. I am a cop. FML"

"Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML"

"Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "because you can't find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML"

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we weere joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML"

"Today, me and my boyfriend were telling eachother secrets and I told him i've shaved my upper lip. He said "I know, it's prickly when we make out." FML"

"Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML"

"Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML"

ATM Skimmers

Hey folks, Karen here. Just writing to let you know bad people exist in the world and would like really badly to get information from you. One way of ruining your life is by skimming your debit card information at ATMs.

Go to this site to find out more and always ALWAYS be suspicious when using an ATM.

You're Welcome
The Best Kern

Juice Boxes


If juice boxes looked like these I would buy them AND drink them, even if they are 100% sugar and artificial flavoring. Oh and that brown one is a Kiwi, not a fuzzy testicle.


What will the Japanese come up with next!

~Keep it fruity...

Baby Makers

Ok, I'll admit, I read a lot of blogs. There is a constant wide variety of opinions, thoughts, ideas spreading through my Google Reader daily and lately I've noticed a theme. Women want to make babies, like right now, right this very INSTANT. They all start out saying they should wait and actually PREFER to wait and then the next day they touched a baby, or saw one in a shopping cart, or found out someone they know is pregnant and BAM now they want one.

Me? I like giving them back. Go ahead and keep the noises, the excess amount of liquids dripping out, the crying, the lack of sleep, the stretch marks. You keep it. I like to think I am immune to this bug.

Granted over the summer after an incident things changed. It was such a strong shift that I felt the magnetic field in the Earth flip. Before babies were ick. I always told my mother I'd own more animals than ....babies!! Now, I'm like "meh if it happens that's cool but not til I'm 37 k?" I still feel like I have A LOT of growing up to do before I can shape an empty slate. If I had a little baby right now it would learn that black olives are an okay choice for dinner, sleeping in is one of the best things in life that should NEVER be taken for granted, your pet may also be a pawn for your experiements, and going where the wind blows is a perfectly acceptable reason for doing ANYTHING.

My own dog would report me to child services SOMEHOW. Plus, I wasn't kidding about the sleeping in part, the baby would have to learn that a sleepy mommy is not a mommy.

I guess I'm just not girly enough for the baby bug yet. I still have a lot of selfish things to do, still have a lot of growing to do. I mean, heck, it wasn't until just RECENTLY that the silly wedding bug got a hold of me. Granted, I think I'm doing pretty good with it. I don't have any strong urges to tell The Lover to get me hitched. I don't spend HOURS looking through wedding crap. I don't leave little hints on what kind of ring I WANT on a daily basis(keywod: daily). I don't hum Beyonce's PUT A RING ON IT arpund The Lover. Heck, I didn't even know what fondant was until a week ago! So even though I'm thinking about it more NOW than ever before we are still in the clear of bridezilla in the making.

So maybe one day I'll drop off the baby making cliff but for now I'll just sit back and read about this EPIDEMIC sweeping the nation of quarter life ladies like myself. I'll maybe giggle too.

~Remember to double bag it! (How APPROPRIATE is this?)

Thumbtacks

Today has been an upper as opposed to the downers the past two days when it decided to freaking SNOW

1. My hair looks fabulous today. Amazing what a little effort does eh?

2. It's nice outside albeit windy.

3. Apparently guys like my hair, THREE guys on the way to the Post Office noticed/flirted/whatever you call it. Any other day I blend in with the brick walls.

4. My bro complimented my photography, typically with him compliments aren't given out lightly.

5. I get to see The Lover in 2 days! Sadly, I have to sleep through TWO nights before that happens.

6. The dog didn't mess in his kennel last night, yeah!

7. Got a check I've been needing! Woo!

Things are improving. Something weird happened this morning. I woke up to go potty and noticed the time, thinking I still had another hour to sleep I began to doze off when suddenly something yelled "Hey!" behind me. It was a male voice but none I've ever heard before and it was loud as if they were RIGHT behind me. Anyway, it snapped me awake and made me think maybe it was time to get up. Weird.

~Remember to double bag it....

Zombies Rock

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

250,000 Bouncy Balls

Sony wanted to make a commercial so they threw 250,000 colored bouncy balls down a street in San Francisco. Neat. I actually really like the song too.



The song

Tell Me

How does it go from this



to this IN A DAY



Why Korea (North) Hates US


I like how American legs and arms are about to blast off our circle bodies...

Pug Licking Your Face

While people talk about bacon.

How is that NOT cute!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Pride

I am proud of my President. Finally.


Love

I love written words and the depth they sometimes carry. Sometimes I find words that stop me in my tracks. Lovely, pretty words.

"If this was Chapter Three, in between your fingers and my skin, I would pencil in forever. And yes please. And this is it." -MJ

Something About This Picture I Love

Do Want

When we get a pool I want some of these and I'm pretty sure The Lover would too!




Oh and who needs a couch when you can have THIS

100 Questions I Want to Answer

I love questionnaires. They let me recall things I sometimes forget and also annoy my followers.

Please enjoy!

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Jumping a ramp on my cool neon pink bike. Instead of landing on the wheels I decided to use my chin instead.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
In this room all we have is the Ringling Bros vintage framed poster, it needs more.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
The Samsung Alias in champagne.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Everything minus country. I tend to lean towards tropical though

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
In the morning I think because my mother was in labor for like 14 hours or some crazy stuff like that

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
My photography business right now

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
too much to list here

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION/S?
family and friends

9. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Libra

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Not really

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Sometimes

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
I don't remember...

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
To wear, Burberry's new one (can't remember name), to smell: Burberry's Touch

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
dark hair, blue eyes

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO?
No clue, somewhere special though

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Neither

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
cheeeeeeese please

18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
hmmm, my stepfather's state fair chicken, OH GOD

19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
Probably people from my last full time job

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
uh, probably something baby related from family

22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
No, I hate everyone. WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS?

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
My right thumb maybe?

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
American Eagle, Old Navy, Gap, all those preppy shops

25. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
converitble mustang

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Yep.

27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
Papillon-French for Butterfly, meaning the ears haha

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Of course

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
By telling them you hate them and throwing sand in their face, then run away

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
56

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Brunettes

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
The Lover or family

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
stupid people

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR COUNTRY?
Yes, a few times

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
chocolate

37. FIRST JOB?
Worked at a local pet shop with my best friend.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Yes

39. WHAT WHERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS?
Searching for new blogs to read.

40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Nothing, I value my body for what it is

41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
Boredom

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My photography

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Get over it but find something new to do on weekends.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Camera related stuff

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
lol...

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Err, my mother is gonna kill me. Someone's grandmother? Oh God, that's awful

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
Sometimes.

48. WHAT DID YOU DO THIS MORNING?
Slept in, cleaned the dog (again), did dishes, started laundry, took a shower

49. WHAT DID YOU LAST EAT?
Trix cereal

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It's sloppy

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
turkey

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Plenty

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
Nsync

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes!

55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
No...

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
To a degree, certainly for 1st impressions

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Exercise or yell really loudly, or bitch to The Lover

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
I have lots of places I consider a second home.

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
Pants and a sweatshirt, it's pretty much SNOWING outside.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Probably the Sit~N~Spin and my barbies

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Good amount

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Yes.

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
On the outskirts, it looked bloody so I left.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
The list is so long, haha

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
A lot, mainly Kern, hence... the blog

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Mint chocolate chip

72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLOR(S)?
Red, blue, pink

73. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
The Lover

74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
All of them, I think they are coming in finally.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
nah- I mainly did it just for fun

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
My fishtank bubbler and the washing machine

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Milk

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
The Lover

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
smile

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
Uhhh....I always like songs with good lyrics

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Junk food

82. FAVORITE DRINK(S)?
Skim Milk or Coca Cola

83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN:
Doesn't matter

84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
Volleyball, to play

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Brown

86. EYE COLOR?
Dark Brown

87. HEIGHT?
5 feet 8 inches

88. SIBLINGS?
2, 1 bro and 1 sis

89. FAVORITE MONTH?
I like them all

90. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Not really but I've not given it a fair shake

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
Survivor

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
None I can think of

93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
No, I've asked guys out before

94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
Both!

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationships

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
groceries

98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
god only knows.

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Nothing

100. ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Definitely.


I Am A Certifiable Wuss

Sleeping alone is probably one of the scariest things a human could go through, ok, I could go through. When I was single and living on my own I had NO problems. Sure I worried that someone would come in and kill me just for practice but I still slept like a LOG.

Now that I've been sleeping with another person in the same room for about a year things have changed DRASTICALLY. Now every little creek and pop is a bad guy coming in to ruin my life. I seriously got myself so worked up that I was nearly hyperventilating at the moving shadow on the wall. I broke out into a cold sweat making plans to either jump off the third story deck or climb over the divide and break into the neighbor's place possibly getting shot to avoid....getting shot. I was a mental MESS. Finally, when I did calm my heart rate down enough to actually close my eyes a big FLASH snapped my them open so quick I got whiplash. For ten terrifying seconds every nightmare I ever had raced through my head until thunder rolled across the ceiling. Awesome, a freaking THUNDERSTORM at 2am while my crazy mind is being, well, crazy.

Thankfully, mercifully, I fell asleep shortly thereafter but when I woke up I wondered how I became such a chicken shit in just a year.

Smart Cookie, This One

So I sleep with the fan on to drown out the little freaky noises which makes it hard to hear the important sounds, such as the one made by someone creeping in the middle of the night. To combat this problem this little genius placed her big ass bike, bell included, right in front of the door. Now if I don't hear THAT crashing we have some serious issues....

I think The Lover would be proud...

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Which is better

Life in Art or Art in Life as a catchphrase.... My purpose in "Life in Art" is that I, as a photographer, bring life to art........ or something

HALP

Ohmigosh

I don't know what sort of motivation has gotten into me lately. Maybe it's due to the recent talks we've had about making my photography business a real one but I've been taking and editing photos like crazy, marketing my meager Etsy shop, and even updating my photo blog! I think eventually I am going to change the name and get rid of the "dreams" part.

Either way...this is EXCITING!!! Now to draw up a business plan to convince The Lover that we SHOULD open a gallery/studio... ha

Woe Is Me

So The Lover has left. Gone, away, taking with it my car. My world is smaller, lonelier for the next week. I hate goodbyes, they are taxing on the spirit. So for the next week I'll be confined to the walls of this city (could be a lot worse) as the lone rider, except for maybe the dog.

Speaking of the dog, he's once again done his poop-in-the-kennel-so-I'll-eat-it-only-to-throw-it-back-up-and-maybe-roll-in-it-too-just-for-good-measure thing again... I get so entirely frustrated with him when he does it though it's been pretty infrequent since we moved here, I think standing outside with him leashed is helping.

It was my fault though, we were out unexpectedly all day and when we came back in for our last potty he ran right to his food bowl, having not eaten too much I put another handful down against the will of The Lover (he's always right). So he pooped, then ate it, then puked it up and made sure it got stuck in his butt feathers. He's confined to his kennel whining because he's been puking ALL day.

Honestly, I love this dog, he is so intelligent, friendly, attentive, cute, etc but when he pulls this crap I want to pull my hair out. He's the only dog I've ever had that's done this crap since the day he was born. I don't get it and I thought I GOT animals. blah.

So now The Lover is traveling and I get the joy of cleaning a poopy puke stain every hour. It's too bad because it is absolutely BEAUTIFUL outside today....

Friday, April 3, 2009

Etsy!

Just added a few more prints to my Etsy shop! Click on the link to the left of these posts to see!

It'd be awesome if my dream of being a photographer became a reality. I daydream about it all the time. About being booked up, about editing photos in my office, about doing something CREATIVE for a living. To take photos everyday and challenge myself to grow and view things in a new way. It would be so fantastic! I've never felt so passionate about anything else before. I am just so ready to move on to the next big step to conquering this dream!

Learn It

By Penn Hackney

I've Learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I've learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life

I've learned-
that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts

I've learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Etsy Shop

As some of the observant ones may know I have an Etsy shop. I opened right after the new year hoping to generate some extra revenue from my photography and paintings. I've only sold one print so far.

So, I need your help. Not to obligate you but what sort of prints from my photography would YOU buy? I'm going to add some more merchandise soon to see if I can get things going again...

Today in Pictures

Spring Showers bring......

The Lovers photo

Ugh

Today was a frustrating day for pictures. I guess I just wasn't in the right mindset though I had the strong urge to capture SOMETHING today, so I did. The rain fell this morning and left in time for a fantastic day, weather-wise. We went out for a typical walk exploring some of the town we've not yet seen. We discovered a very nice steep hill that enables one to see the entire city with a nice mountain scape in the background, it was fantastic.

The Lover wasn't feeling well so I went to the park with the pooch to discover cracked eggs scattered throughout and a newly empty nest. I guess "nature" won't let them breed. Whatever. I kept fiddling with the camera hoping something inspiring would poke out at me but it all felt like the same ol', same ol'. On the way home I did manage to find a tree in mid bloom so I spent fifteen minutes taking pictures as cars passed and Caesar whined. I'm not even pleased with them!!

UGH ugh. I've put the camera down and put on my pj's hoping the end of the day will come sooner so I can just sleep. Which reminds me, our bed HURTS. I didn't fall asleep until 4am because my ribs are so sore. This mattress has random springs pushing back harder than others so we tried to add a mattress bad with cotton stuffing that is now bunched in nice little rolls so those TOO can poke and prod in every sensitive part on my side. So we've laid extra comforters, towels, ANYTHING to even the bed out but nothing works so eventually our bodies give in to the constant pain for a little bit of sleep. This means we spend most of the night tossing and turning only to wake up LESS rested than we were the night before!

I cannot wait until we save enough money for a new mattress or at least 15 memory foam pads. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

It Gon' Be Hot