Friday, April 10, 2009

Why ME?!

That phrase, my friends, is a funny one. It usually bugs me when people say that because it implies that they are the only one with a steaming pile of shit bag in their life. WHY ME?! Their tunnel vision forces them to view this singular problem as an attack meant only for them.

When I say it I typically mean WHAT SIGNIFICANCE DOES THIS PROBLEM HAVE FOR ME?? and what am I supposed to take away from this? Why ME??? As in, this issue, problem, or shitbag is on my lap for some reason, what am I supposed to take away from it when resolved??

But no, not this time folks, this time I meant the former. WHY ME?

See, yesterday I was chilling on my computer minding my own business, discussing the details of the visit with my mother when this little window down by my task bar pops up say WARNING: YOU HAVE A VIRUS, CLICK HERE TO REMOVE. Problem was I've never seen this program before. It was called Spyware Protect 2009 which made me suspicious right from the getgo. I was pretty sure I didn't HAVE any protection on this computer and knew for a fact that I did not upgrade to a 2009 version of it. So I clicked it away hoping it would disappear but oh no, not this one my friends.

It had three separate pop ups to inform me a virus was attacking my computer. Three ANNOYING pop ups that would not allow you to click on something else until you paid attention to it. It seems this virus alert was in all actuality a virus itself!

So I Googled the program name and BAM a big list of results shows up with words like MALWARE, VIRUS, WARNING... WHY ME?? I click through searching for some free program to get rid of the issue and be done with it, however, no such thing exists. They have these pay for programs and then a very kind instruction manual that tells you how to remove it yourself complete with a scary warning saying "Doing this yourself may cause your system to crash or to lose important information, we recommend creating a back up of your files before starting. Or hey, just purchase my product" WHY ME??????

Great! Well, I'm not a computer moron so I thought I would give the manual version a try. I managed to get the pop ups to stop but couldn't find a way to delete the damn thing. Finally, a few college nerds sent me a link for a free program that would get rid of it. At 1:30am I ran the scan and it didn't stop until 3:30am. In the meantime I tried surfing the internet to keep me awake but the VIRUS made my cursor jump all around so it looked like I was typing Japanese. It took me literally fifteen minutes to type a damn sentence. I felt like the evil virus knew I was in the process of eliminating it so it was giving one last pow to the kisser before dying. The malware program found TEN infected objects on my computer and removed them. When I booted it back up my computer ran faster than I've ever known it to. So now I guess we know "why me".


Louis said...

at least it all had a happy ending, and you got to bond with your pc :-)

G+D said...

Sounds like you handled that much better than I ever would have. I'm glad it all worked out in the end!