My Dog is a Panty Thief

I've known this for a little bit but momentarily forgot right before getting in the shower.

With fall upon us I've taken to keeping the windows open to save a little money and get some fresh air into this cave and it's been working wonderfully except right around sunset when the rays fall right on the front side of the house heating the room to gross. Being that I am in between jobs right now and spending a lot of time at home I've scheduled my shower during this bracket to cool off and clean up, essentially killing two birds with one stone.

This particular evening I stripped my clothes off and left the bathroom door open to allow cool air to circulate for when I got out of the shower. Typically the door is shut to trap the warm steam-like air in. My dog was alert barking right as I stepped in and noticed the exact moment he became quiet. Worried about what he was doing I stuck my head out of the shower and noticed an article of clothing missing from my pile.

Soaking wet I run out of the shower to retrieve the misbehaving mongrel and locate panties before they grow a hole. I didn't find the panties immediately because as soon as he heard the wet pitter patter and the growl of my words he relocated Ninja style to the dinning room.

I didn't even have to say a word as he slowly walked to his kennel for time out as I shut the door and it wasn't until after the shower that I resumed my successful hunt for the panties.

Open Windows

Oh how we love fall and the freshness it brings.

Joke of the Day

“ Sarah Palin is a post turtle. What’s a post turtle? When you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post turtle. You know she didn’t get there by herself, she doesn’t belong up there, she won’t know what to do while she’s up there and you wonder what kind of moron put her there in the first place. ”

Beating Hearts

Honesty written on your lips
curling endless in a smile
with the piercing blue
seeing through my soul
of a song sung together

Gentle touch of your hand
as if I am easy to break
your kisses on my forehead
protected in your envelope
twining fingers in the sun

You and me beat the same
ticking tocking harmony
bracing for eternity
picture worthy happiness
the vision in our eyes

breathless waiting for the
chance
to fulfill our secret promises
of dances on the sand
and names carved forevermore

-Kern

Our Tropical Paradise

Hidden in the wedges of the deep sea you'll find the rare species appropriately named Spikey and Blue.


Please give them a warm welcome.

A Few of My Favorite Things

-Spending an evening at Calhoun's on the River with some live music, their awesome burger and fries and plenty of rum and coke to go around with my loved one.

-Little trips just an hour away but far enough from home to make it feel like an escape. Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area is a spectacular place to get cozy in the mountains during cold fall weekends.

-Christmas time. I know Halloween hasn't even hit yet (nor my own birthday!) but Christmas is my favorite holiday of all. Not because of the gifts, though I do love giving, but because of the time spent with family. It's usually the only time during the year that everyone makes a decent effort to get together. I love it.

-Spending hours devising a future plan for whichever situation my lover and I are currently facing. Bumping heads with him has been one of the most fascinating things about this relationship. When our powers combine we are.....magic! :P

-The bond I have with my sister though I am nine years her senior. I feel an almost protective glove overwhelm me much akin to how a mother would to a daughter whenever I spend any amount of time with her. She is such a brilliant human being and is bound to go far in life and I will see to it that nothing stands in her way.

-A tall glass of cold skim milk. Oh yum!

-My camera and the doors (and eyes) it has opened for me. Possibly the best gift anyone has ever gotten me.

-When my babe calls me his "forevermate". It's cute and certainly the first I've ever heard from anyone.

-The new Bowflex full body machine we should be getting in 2 to 4 weeks. Couple that with an elliptical and I won't ever need a gym again! So excited!

One thing I probably Can't Do

So I had an interview today at an animal shelter as a kennel technician. That's all well and good as I have plenty of experience however when I got there I learned it's not the physicality of the job that's demanding, it's the emotional wear and tear that creates the six month turn around rate.

My interview pretty much entailed a lecture about euthanasia and how emotionally draining it is on everyone at the facility but my job would include sticking the two lethal needles into the helpless unadoptable pets. I could deal with this at a vet clinic where it is the most humane thing to do to a lifelong pet suffering in their last days. To have to do it to hundreds of dogs and cats a day because irresponsible owners decided it was too much to care for something they agreed to take into their home would become a nightmare. Not only would I be depressed I'd be angry at my fellow humans for their stupid decisions. It would eat away at me like acid until I became bitter about the world and secluded myself from any joy.

May I not be one of the chosen few they decide to hire for this part.

Helmets Save Faces

I was just recently thinking about my childhood past and one memory that came immediately to mind was the day my brother's face was rescued by a helmet. If it hadn't been for the helmet his nose would probably be a lot flatter and a few teeth would be forever missing.

See as kids in the early nineties we still enjoyed the outdoors more than sitting around inside attached to the remote. I had my shiny bright pink bike and my brother had his bad ass black bike. We lived on a steep hill that had a landing strip allowing plenty of time to pick up our speed for awesome flying. I had gotten pretty good on my bike, being able to steer with no hands and glide around with ease. Back and forth up and down the street I was in m own little world but somehow I managed to catch my brother's demise.

I'm guessing that he was about five or six on this day and very attentive to the rules of the road. His helmet made him look cool. Anyway, maybe he wanted to do something different, maybe he was testing the helmet, maybe we will never understand the events that led to the end of his biking days and the beginning of "Safety First" in our family.

All I can remember is he was winding up for a long high speed race down the awesome hill. I was about ten feet behind him and watched as he slowly veered to the left and off the road heading straight for a mailbox. At the last possible moment his helmet fell in front covering his precious baby face from the brunt force of the mailbox.

He screamed, I laughed a little and than ran to get mom while the neighbor came running out to inspect what went down in his yard. All teeth in order, no noses smooshed, I relayed the story of the magical helmet to everyone and we give thanks to the helmet fairies everyday.

Thanks be to Helmet Fairy.

McCain Got Told!

So sorry Mr. McCain. Looks like you can't get away with everything.

My Parrot Fish

My two previous Parrot Fish that I have had for roughly five years have a new baby! Since they are a genetically altered species they cannot reproduce on their own though I don't think anyone let this breeding pair know that tidbit, or maybe they just like the practice.

This new booger is white with black fins and various dots. They haven't accepted him quite yet bu he's getting braver by the minute!




We also got a Niger Trigger and a Volitan Lionfish for the saltwater tank. Pics to come soon!

My dog learned a new trick

It's called backtalk and the premise follows;

"Caesar! Sit! Don't you back talk me, now go on!"

At that point Caesar leaps away while grumbling and growling.

Cutest trick evar!

Stress Level: High

It's getting to the point where the stress boils over and begins to drown me. Granted, I haven't been trying as hard as I could. I have that same intuitive feeling again that something will come sweep me up again like it always does.

Definition of money; fun when you have it, stress overload when you don't.

I Cannot Sleep

However, my Justin said I should bring the laptop in here because he would rather hear the pitter patter of my keyboard than not have me near him.

I'm just amazed someone would say that about little ol me. Seriously?

Awe.

Almost a Year Later

The View Outside Our Front Door Today

So a year later and I finally decide to set time aside to devote to this, me. Since I've recently discovered that no one can be trusted I suppose I can throw my disgusting confessions to the infinite white that I'll refer to as the internet. Life for me has turned into a hopeless battle, but more on that later.

Today was joyfully spent with my amazing significant other (get used to it, you will hear that a lot) cleaning in and around the house but mainly battling the bees. For the past two months our schedule and paths in and out of the house have been decided by these ever aggressive bees. It started with your typical lawn mower experience and ended with a quick run and strip of clothes into the basement while doing the "bee dance". You know the one, where you shake every ligament in hopes of riding the painful buggers. Since then we have maintained exiting out the garage door and not the front and have allowed a particular part of the yard to grow jungle size.

We have had a few battles throughout this World War with a high water pressure washer as our weaponry. That seemed to work well in pissing off the bees and they left us alone for a short time. Reading up on the ever faithful Google we discovered several ingenious ways to kill the bee. From the sounds of it these guys are harder to kill than cockroaches! One of the recommended ways was gas, we went as far as tiki oil and may no one with a cigarette come within five feet of our front door. Another was boiling water which we tried to no avail. So with the pressure washer we could get soap into the entrance at a decent force and make an imprint on their well organized colony. All this for a three inch Queen destined to live a season, bummer.

I only wish I had enough forethought to capture my significant other hiding behind a tree with the pressure washer rounding the corner and aimed at the danger zone. It was a sight to behold behind the safety of the front door. We may not have killed them yet but we are one step closer to winning our yard back.

Just wait til winter sets in.

Drives to the Mountain

Make sights like these;



<3


Have I mentioned I can't sleep?