When we picked up our lives and headed north after leaving a place of destruction I knew a few things would permanently change for us. After surviving the onslaught of an angry God, Zeus, Messiah, Mother Nature, we had a few things to think about. One of these things would be my employment. After getting shit on by people I trusted being in a work environment seemed challenging. I didn't want to befriend anyone, I didn't want anyone knowing anything about me, my life, my situation. I was the poster child for anti-social awkwardness and if you know anything about me it's that I love to socialize, or used to.
So though I tried finding a job in this new area with this new understanding that too many people are not actually nice and really don't have anything better to do than ruin lives was proving difficult. Plus, I had this gut feeling that I wouldn't need to be under the man ever again and that just so happened to be right.
It was a matter of time and it came faster than expected but it was an opportunity we couldn't resist. For months prior we have been mentally preparing ourselves for a moment such like the one that occurred and I feel wholeheartedly this is the right step to a successful future, finally.
I think I've been on the brink of my quarter life crisis. At my age my companions are graduating and starting a path down their career while I'm stuck here working dead end jobs for little over minimum wage. The problem was I just wasn't sure what I wanted to do, where was I supposed to go? What was this path I was going to take? Am I destined to be a poor person scraping by month to month? I never saw myself in that sort of position for long but was never in a hurry to fix it. I just knew when the time was right it would hit, I was just getting worried that maybe the time had passed me by when I wasn't looking.
Then the proverbial door swung wide open and here I am. Ready to embark on a new journey full of many unknowns. The ultimate challenge to make it and by God I am so ready to make it. I've got that fire deep within that's ready to prove to myself, my biggest critic, that I'm not a deadbeat, a minimum wage for life kind of girl, a paycheck to paycheck liver (haha). So we're starting a business. The grand opening is this Friday with a special Wine and Cheese event.
I am all things nervous, excited, confident, and nervous some more. This big leap has been calling out to me and I cannot wait to see what the future holds. I smell success.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Cheesy Yet True
You know those timeless cliches that are so perfectly wrapped in pink bubble wrap with sparkling ribbons that often make you want to vomit? I think a lot of the time we instantly gag is because a big idea is often shoved into some over processed phrase just so your always chirpy and yet slightly annoying friend can spoon feed you the world's version of idealism. Sometimes we puke in our mouths a little bit when we hear them because they're often true even if they make mountains look like molehills. So, my dear friends, here is my chirpy yet annoying slop of the truth, taken from here;
1- Just Do It
Erase the word "try" from your vocab. Instead make a commit to work hard.
2- What's you motivation
Why do you want what you want; this will bring perseverance.
3- Count the cost
What sacrifices and what resources will you need to get what you want?
4- Support group
Create a environment for success: mentors, cheerleaders and inspiration.
5- Get a vision
Dreams can take your goals to infinity and beyond; shoot for the stars.
I Feel So Small
This video is incredible! It actually made me breathless...
Galactic Center of Milky Way Rises over Texas Star Party from William Castleman on Vimeo.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sweet 16
You know what I did for my Sweet 16? Absolutely nothing. I didn't even have a party because I was "grounded" at the time. It was a "scornful" time and I was bummed. I had hoped to have one huge ridiculous blow out before adulthood set in and I had to say "don't get me any gifts, no thank you, save your money, blahblahblah". Luckily, when I hit so called adulthood I learned birthdays can be just as much fun even if you don't get eleventy-billion gifts like you did as a kid.
I was in Toys-R-Us the other day and looked at the prices of some of the toys. The store is nothing like I remember from childhood. I don't know if I was just too small or if it really was big but I can recall stepping into the girly pink section and seeing walls go all the way to the ceiling with aisles and aisles full of fun Barbie stuff. It was heaven. Today you see a half wall full of tossed around junk, a small closet full of haphazardly placed toys. Anyway, back to the prices, I used to think we got so many gifts as children because of the price. As age increases so does the price for the good stuff. This doesn't seem to be the case, there toys were ridiculous! Ten dollars for a miniature crappy Batman? Are you kidding me?? Thirty dollars for a light up police helmet?? What?? This is downright theft!!
But I digress. A thirty dollar light up helmet is still cheaper than that iPod, or laptop, or tv, or clothing item, or ...you get the idea. Money in and money out, just numbers in the bank account.
My sister celebrates her 16th birthday tomorrow. When asked what she wanted to do for it she said "Nothin'". In desperation my father asked me if I knew what she wanted to do because she had already reached that point in adulthood "No thank you, save your money, I don't want anything, just stir fry for dinner." After getting my curiosity piqued I had a text by phone conversation with the sis to see what she really wanted to do. It seemed she had a plan afterall, to avoid high school drama at all costs. "If I don't invite everyone there will be drama, if I invite everyone there will be drama!" I don't blame her for wanting to opt out on a big party full of Queens when there really should only be one on HER birthday.
Regardless I think they came to an understanding. She's getting packages mailed out to her by various family as well as cards fat with the green stuff. She will get her stir fry and yellow cake with white frosting as well as some gifts from the immediate family and on Saturday she will take her test for her Driver's Permit and hit the road (lets hope not literally, unless she trips, which happens a lot). Tomorrow she will be one year closer to her 21st extravaganza when the adulthood steps outside for a second so the child can let loose with the liquid courage. Oh yes, I will be there even if I will be cough30cough by that time.
A big happy birthday to the best sis in the universe.
I was in Toys-R-Us the other day and looked at the prices of some of the toys. The store is nothing like I remember from childhood. I don't know if I was just too small or if it really was big but I can recall stepping into the girly pink section and seeing walls go all the way to the ceiling with aisles and aisles full of fun Barbie stuff. It was heaven. Today you see a half wall full of tossed around junk, a small closet full of haphazardly placed toys. Anyway, back to the prices, I used to think we got so many gifts as children because of the price. As age increases so does the price for the good stuff. This doesn't seem to be the case, there toys were ridiculous! Ten dollars for a miniature crappy Batman? Are you kidding me?? Thirty dollars for a light up police helmet?? What?? This is downright theft!!
But I digress. A thirty dollar light up helmet is still cheaper than that iPod, or laptop, or tv, or clothing item, or ...you get the idea. Money in and money out, just numbers in the bank account.
My sister celebrates her 16th birthday tomorrow. When asked what she wanted to do for it she said "Nothin'". In desperation my father asked me if I knew what she wanted to do because she had already reached that point in adulthood "No thank you, save your money, I don't want anything, just stir fry for dinner." After getting my curiosity piqued I had a text by phone conversation with the sis to see what she really wanted to do. It seemed she had a plan afterall, to avoid high school drama at all costs. "If I don't invite everyone there will be drama, if I invite everyone there will be drama!" I don't blame her for wanting to opt out on a big party full of Queens when there really should only be one on HER birthday.
Regardless I think they came to an understanding. She's getting packages mailed out to her by various family as well as cards fat with the green stuff. She will get her stir fry and yellow cake with white frosting as well as some gifts from the immediate family and on Saturday she will take her test for her Driver's Permit and hit the road (lets hope not literally, unless she trips, which happens a lot). Tomorrow she will be one year closer to her 21st extravaganza when the adulthood steps outside for a second so the child can let loose with the liquid courage. Oh yes, I will be there even if I will be cough30cough by that time.
A big happy birthday to the best sis in the universe.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Hello Lovelies!
What a long time since I've last seen you! I hate to be so neglectful. It seems when I am out living I tend to forget my little online world. I need to remember writing is good for the soul. That's the whole reason I started this thing.
It seems my life has a running theme that starts with an S and ends in pontaneity. On Friday we decided to head to Knoxville to see The Lover's family. We stayed until yesterday evening which wasn't the original plan either. Somehow we managed to see all of his family numerous times but it was fun. We spent the night at his grandparent's place and on the hottest weekend of the year their air conditioning broke down. It was rough to say the least. The first night we melted into the sheets until I decided to open the window and shove the fan in it. We had to close it during the day because his grandmother didn't want to "look like she was in the south". Whatever that means.
I don't know about everyone else but when it's hot I don't care what my windows look like as long as I'm cool. We respected her wishes, however, because it really seemed as if the heat wasn't bothering them as much as it was us. We just spent a lot of time outside to dry off the sweat.
So the weekend was good, albeit hot. I'm back at home busting butt on this project that I can't wait to go into more detail about. It's getting close now and I'm tying up the rest of the loose ends. I am too excited about it.
It seems my life has a running theme that starts with an S and ends in pontaneity. On Friday we decided to head to Knoxville to see The Lover's family. We stayed until yesterday evening which wasn't the original plan either. Somehow we managed to see all of his family numerous times but it was fun. We spent the night at his grandparent's place and on the hottest weekend of the year their air conditioning broke down. It was rough to say the least. The first night we melted into the sheets until I decided to open the window and shove the fan in it. We had to close it during the day because his grandmother didn't want to "look like she was in the south". Whatever that means.
I don't know about everyone else but when it's hot I don't care what my windows look like as long as I'm cool. We respected her wishes, however, because it really seemed as if the heat wasn't bothering them as much as it was us. We just spent a lot of time outside to dry off the sweat.
So the weekend was good, albeit hot. I'm back at home busting butt on this project that I can't wait to go into more detail about. It's getting close now and I'm tying up the rest of the loose ends. I am too excited about it.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The Story of A Desk
The Lover needed a bigger desk to accommodate his home office workload but chose not to go the conventional way, as he typically never does. This man loves to keep busy on one project or another and this time his beloved work area was next to catch his attention.
Living in a loft sort of allows the not so typical and accidentally trendy to make its way into your living space. So instead of buying a desk at Office Max he went to Home Depot to see what kind of fun toys he could mix together in the form of a functional, big desk.
We were there 3 hours devising a plan. I'm all too ready to leave and he's just getting started as we wander, measuring here and there, calculating in our head, and bugging poor salespeople.
Eventually he comes up with a plan. We will buy a door as the desk top and use steel piping as the legs. I'll tell you I never knew what a flange was before yesterday, now I'm dreaming of them. He takes his creative brain one step farther and builds a bookshelf out of pipe parts and a raised shelf for other items.
It looks great but I'm hungry and it's preventing me from going out to eat.
Living in a loft sort of allows the not so typical and accidentally trendy to make its way into your living space. So instead of buying a desk at Office Max he went to Home Depot to see what kind of fun toys he could mix together in the form of a functional, big desk.
We were there 3 hours devising a plan. I'm all too ready to leave and he's just getting started as we wander, measuring here and there, calculating in our head, and bugging poor salespeople.
Eventually he comes up with a plan. We will buy a door as the desk top and use steel piping as the legs. I'll tell you I never knew what a flange was before yesterday, now I'm dreaming of them. He takes his creative brain one step farther and builds a bookshelf out of pipe parts and a raised shelf for other items.
It looks great but I'm hungry and it's preventing me from going out to eat.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Weekend Part 2
After a fantastic time at the concert we geared up for another event. The Lover's mom and stepdad were coming into town for the first time. It was actually the first time they have ever spent time at The Lover's home, we had no idea what to expect.
So I spent a majority of Friday afternoon cleaning every nook and cranny. Not a speck of dust to be found, towel out of place, or wrinkle in the comforter. Everything was perfect.
They arrived in the afternoon and we gave them a tour of the place. Allowing The Lover's dad, a contractor, to nit pick the minute details of the building. After lots of ooh's and ahh's we headed down to Burger Bar for lunch. It was fantastically greasy.
We wandered around downtown for a little bit before heading off to the main event. Yep, we went to watch the drag races. Now, racing isn't really my thing but I'd never been and it's apparently a huge deal here so I decided to give it a chance.
It'll most likely be the first and last time I go. It wasn't horrible but it was definitely a different environment. One full of rednecks wearing shirts like these;
while drinking cheap beer with big ear phones on and most likely with the Mullet or rockin 80's band hair. A place where ear plugs are a necessity and getting smoke shoved in your face is a guarantee. Even when we went into the Pit where the cars go to get fixed up between races we had times where they would decide to turn on the engine and make it spew a puff of smoke onto the crowd so they can cry as they run for oxygen.
I'm pretty sure that's what caused my severe allergy attack. We went Friday and Saturday spending at least 5 hours each. By the time we left Saturday evening I had inflamed, itchy, red eyes, congestion, and a case of the sneezes. I was near comatose and no medicine in the world could fix me. I ultimately passed on going to the race on Sunday and I'm glad.
Sunburnt and worn out we had a good weekend. Things went smoothly, I got a lot of information I needed for my super secret project, and had several photo ops. The Lover's parents are already talking about making another trip in the not so soon future.
Now it's on to bigger things!
So I spent a majority of Friday afternoon cleaning every nook and cranny. Not a speck of dust to be found, towel out of place, or wrinkle in the comforter. Everything was perfect.
They arrived in the afternoon and we gave them a tour of the place. Allowing The Lover's dad, a contractor, to nit pick the minute details of the building. After lots of ooh's and ahh's we headed down to Burger Bar for lunch. It was fantastically greasy.
We wandered around downtown for a little bit before heading off to the main event. Yep, we went to watch the drag races. Now, racing isn't really my thing but I'd never been and it's apparently a huge deal here so I decided to give it a chance.
It'll most likely be the first and last time I go. It wasn't horrible but it was definitely a different environment. One full of rednecks wearing shirts like these;
while drinking cheap beer with big ear phones on and most likely with the Mullet or rockin 80's band hair. A place where ear plugs are a necessity and getting smoke shoved in your face is a guarantee. Even when we went into the Pit where the cars go to get fixed up between races we had times where they would decide to turn on the engine and make it spew a puff of smoke onto the crowd so they can cry as they run for oxygen.
I'm pretty sure that's what caused my severe allergy attack. We went Friday and Saturday spending at least 5 hours each. By the time we left Saturday evening I had inflamed, itchy, red eyes, congestion, and a case of the sneezes. I was near comatose and no medicine in the world could fix me. I ultimately passed on going to the race on Sunday and I'm glad.
Sunburnt and worn out we had a good weekend. Things went smoothly, I got a lot of information I needed for my super secret project, and had several photo ops. The Lover's parents are already talking about making another trip in the not so soon future.
Now it's on to bigger things!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Weekend Part 1
If there is one thing I've learned in the blogging world it's that people don't like to read long posts. I'm the same way, sometimes when I see an essay I groan inwardly and ask for a synopsis. Though a lot of the time I just stick it through as my eyes go cross eyed and I can't even remember what was just written. Anyway, this will be short and with lots of pictures!
My weekend started Thursday night. The Lover and I were invited to a private concert at our neighbors. I became the unofficial official photographer for this little event. It's amazing I got some of the shots I did because I drank pretty heavily (for me). All in all it was a good time, the singer is great live though in all honesty I'm not so sure I would pop in his cd in the radio a lot but his stage presence was great. You could tell he is one of those Old Souls. Playing his banjo, kazoo, harmonica, and gitjo (a banjo/guitar according to him) you get a very old timey feel. It was storytelling type of music that has been played for decades.
So look him up if you're in to ragtime, Pokey is his name and he's from St. Louis. If you like him enough invite him to your town and I'm sure you'll enjoy it just as much as we did.
Because of his style I decided to go with some vintage looking photographs. This is usually more treatment than I give to my photos but it was fun to play around and see what I could come up with.
My weekend started Thursday night. The Lover and I were invited to a private concert at our neighbors. I became the unofficial official photographer for this little event. It's amazing I got some of the shots I did because I drank pretty heavily (for me). All in all it was a good time, the singer is great live though in all honesty I'm not so sure I would pop in his cd in the radio a lot but his stage presence was great. You could tell he is one of those Old Souls. Playing his banjo, kazoo, harmonica, and gitjo (a banjo/guitar according to him) you get a very old timey feel. It was storytelling type of music that has been played for decades.
So look him up if you're in to ragtime, Pokey is his name and he's from St. Louis. If you like him enough invite him to your town and I'm sure you'll enjoy it just as much as we did.
Because of his style I decided to go with some vintage looking photographs. This is usually more treatment than I give to my photos but it was fun to play around and see what I could come up with.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Hubble Captures Spaceship In Front of Sun
Image removed for copyright reasons. Yeah, I don't want to get sued....
Awesome! Read the article here.
Awesome! Read the article here.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Old Habits Create New Ideas
Sometimes.
I used to think that roadblocks signified it wasn't meant to be. Now I know they're just a test to see how bad you want it.
I used to think that roadblocks signified it wasn't meant to be. Now I know they're just a test to see how bad you want it.
Fish Tank Woes
We have this tank, you see, that is really big and beautiful (but not in the BBW way mind you) and is in the perfect place for some amazing sea creatures. So we added some. We actually added lots which I think may have been the problem but things were good, at least for a little while.
Then suddenly I found the dreaded white specks on a few of the fish. The ghastly Ich disease struck downtown fish world and I moved quickly to save the community. I bought medicine, aquarium salt, and some herbal liquid that was supposed to help as well according to the lady at the store. When I mentioned they had Ich she says "Ohhhhhh yeaaah, it's been real bad this year, we've had quite the problem." A red flag goes off in my head but I've dealt with Ich before and managed to clear it up with less treatment than I was doing now, this was sure to work.
It didn't. First I lost a couple fish at a time after watching them struggle for days as I diligently treated them as best as I knew how. Then more died off and I was literally scooping up batches of lost little lives and broken dreams every day. I was sad, really sad. All these pretty fish and no one was making it. What happened to the tank to wipe it out so completely? I tested the water and the pH was super high which leads me to believe we had too many in there to begin with. A hard lesson learned.
The only two to survive the holocaust was a little side sucker and our african dwarf frog. It's been three days since the last death was recorded and after stopping all treatment I continue to hold my breath as I search for the two survivors each morning. Then I found a perplexing miracle.
While searching for the eluesive frog I found something that made me blink double hard. There behind the dragon tucked away in the plant was a baby fish. A baby freaking fish! How can an entire tank die yet have eggs hatch at the same time??? I can't even tell what kind of fish it is but it doesn't matter because frogs like meat, especially little meat that can fit into their little mouths. I will be amazed and even more confused if this little booger makes it.
Riddle me this?
Then suddenly I found the dreaded white specks on a few of the fish. The ghastly Ich disease struck downtown fish world and I moved quickly to save the community. I bought medicine, aquarium salt, and some herbal liquid that was supposed to help as well according to the lady at the store. When I mentioned they had Ich she says "Ohhhhhh yeaaah, it's been real bad this year, we've had quite the problem." A red flag goes off in my head but I've dealt with Ich before and managed to clear it up with less treatment than I was doing now, this was sure to work.
It didn't. First I lost a couple fish at a time after watching them struggle for days as I diligently treated them as best as I knew how. Then more died off and I was literally scooping up batches of lost little lives and broken dreams every day. I was sad, really sad. All these pretty fish and no one was making it. What happened to the tank to wipe it out so completely? I tested the water and the pH was super high which leads me to believe we had too many in there to begin with. A hard lesson learned.
The only two to survive the holocaust was a little side sucker and our african dwarf frog. It's been three days since the last death was recorded and after stopping all treatment I continue to hold my breath as I search for the two survivors each morning. Then I found a perplexing miracle.
While searching for the eluesive frog I found something that made me blink double hard. There behind the dragon tucked away in the plant was a baby fish. A baby freaking fish! How can an entire tank die yet have eggs hatch at the same time??? I can't even tell what kind of fish it is but it doesn't matter because frogs like meat, especially little meat that can fit into their little mouths. I will be amazed and even more confused if this little booger makes it.
Riddle me this?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Life; The Rollercoaster
I'll tell you something, life is damn funny sometimes. Just when you think you've reached the top something comes along and pushes you higher. Did you think for a second this would be a whiny post? ha!
I have been so busy lately. I can hardly sleep a wink with all the ideas buzzing through my head. I have a big deadline to meet on a lifelong project and it's making my eyes bug out. I'm totally okay with it though.
I plan to share the details as things become more permanent but right now there is so much in the air that my superstitious self is afraid to peep before the egg is hatched. My goal is to continue to work hard and make sense of this whirlwind.
Basically, what I wanted to say is, I miss you blog!!
I have been so busy lately. I can hardly sleep a wink with all the ideas buzzing through my head. I have a big deadline to meet on a lifelong project and it's making my eyes bug out. I'm totally okay with it though.
I plan to share the details as things become more permanent but right now there is so much in the air that my superstitious self is afraid to peep before the egg is hatched. My goal is to continue to work hard and make sense of this whirlwind.
Basically, what I wanted to say is, I miss you blog!!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Waves
Photograph by Stuart Gibson
I feel sort of like this wave. Floating but ready to smash the ground at any second. I have this incredible opportunity but I feel like too many roadblocks are being put up in the way. I just want to know I can do it and be given the chance to prove it instead of vice versa but with something as big as this it's sort of hard to just jump on blind faith. If this works out though, life will be pretty fantastic. This my dream being realized or unraveled.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Rain, Rain Go Away
It's been nothing but rain since we got back from Williamsburg. This is total lame ass! I don't even want to walk to the gym because it is down pouring and the stupid place is 3 city blocks away so by the time I arrive I'm drenched. Ew anyone?
Somehow, miraculously, I'm still losing weight. Even though I had that pizza over the weekend (excuse me, we were craving some serious carbs). Honestly, we've been eating a lot better than we have before and I'm certain that helps but I have the metabolism of a dead person, something is up. The fact that I am not working just means I'm burning even less calories which in turn means I need to take in far less to lose weight. My body is very good at gaining, it gets an A++ in that department but when it comes to actually getting rid of what I don't need, forget it, this bitch is a sentimental whore.
I think I know what it is that's helping me melt the chub away even though I ate like a stupid head that night and haven't really moved (unless from the bed to the recliner counts). The last time I was on a super health kick I read all the benefits of green tea. This little plant is a weight burning mean green machine! The problem was I hated (still do) tea. It is the nastiest tasting butt one could pour into their mouth, it's gross. I tried though because the benefits were just too great to ignore. I tried regular, I tried different brands, different temperatures, hell I even tried carbonated to see if I could trick myself into loving it. Nope, nada, it still tasted like raw butthole no matter how you sliced it. I gave up and lost it the hard way which is a way I enjoy and the reason I still have a gym membership but without the personal trainer this time. I just did without.
Until good ol Google taught me something new. They actually make freaking pills full of this wonderful stuff! I felt retarded for not thinking of it sooner but immediately ran to the store to make up for it. I really think this is the reason I am still losing weight. My metabolism is now slightly higher than dead and I am so ok with that. If you want to lose some extra poundage check out Green Tea Extract, it is so amazing!
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Somehow, miraculously, I'm still losing weight. Even though I had that pizza over the weekend (excuse me, we were craving some serious carbs). Honestly, we've been eating a lot better than we have before and I'm certain that helps but I have the metabolism of a dead person, something is up. The fact that I am not working just means I'm burning even less calories which in turn means I need to take in far less to lose weight. My body is very good at gaining, it gets an A++ in that department but when it comes to actually getting rid of what I don't need, forget it, this bitch is a sentimental whore.
I think I know what it is that's helping me melt the chub away even though I ate like a stupid head that night and haven't really moved (unless from the bed to the recliner counts). The last time I was on a super health kick I read all the benefits of green tea. This little plant is a weight burning mean green machine! The problem was I hated (still do) tea. It is the nastiest tasting butt one could pour into their mouth, it's gross. I tried though because the benefits were just too great to ignore. I tried regular, I tried different brands, different temperatures, hell I even tried carbonated to see if I could trick myself into loving it. Nope, nada, it still tasted like raw butthole no matter how you sliced it. I gave up and lost it the hard way which is a way I enjoy and the reason I still have a gym membership but without the personal trainer this time. I just did without.
Until good ol Google taught me something new. They actually make freaking pills full of this wonderful stuff! I felt retarded for not thinking of it sooner but immediately ran to the store to make up for it. I really think this is the reason I am still losing weight. My metabolism is now slightly higher than dead and I am so ok with that. If you want to lose some extra poundage check out Green Tea Extract, it is so amazing!
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
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