Are We Predetermined?

Fate? Is it real, like really real? Is our story already written and all we're doing is playing the role? Do we sometimes forget our lines, miss a scene, have flashbacks, trip over scenery, and sing about something important?

Are we strings on a guitar? Plucked and tuned until the right note vibrates so brilliantly? Are we a smaller part of the whole song? A series of notes that make up the whole?

Do we really lack that control?

I'd like to think half and half. Being proud of my strong independent woman mantra I want to believe that I can think for myself and make the right decisions from time to time. I want to believe that I can choose my destiny, the wobbly path that leads to my demise. The other part of me wants to think fate puts me back on track when I stray like a lost puppy from the pack. I think that when I get a little too rebellious fate scoops me up by the scruff of the neck and rolls me back onto the assembly line pointed to the "Right Way".

It's scary to think we are pawns in a big chess game with little room to find our niche but I also hope that life's little lessons ultimately lead us to the place we're meant to be, the puzzle piece that fits our personality, experiences, and learnings. I'd rather be the one deciding the next chess move but I don't mind at all if a little "feeling" wants to knock on my head with some advice. Is the contradictory?

Oh well.

May I also add that I believe in ghosts? Only because I saw one at my last place of work. It was a puppy dog. One had died there right before I was hired on (I was the replacement for the negligent kennel rep.) and out of the corner of my eye I'd see a black four legged furry friend running around the place. After I made mention of it I never saw it again though I know it was having fun in the play yards when we weren't looking.

Maybe I'm delusional.

Maybe I'm okay with that.