Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Bossom Bee

While we are on the topic of breasticles I thought I'd go ahead and blog about an event including them, mine. Let me start out by saying that I have never been stung by a bee nor nibbled on by a bumble bee, or in any sort of pain caused by the yellow and black. In my 24 years on this life I've managed to skip the "pleasure" of comparing various pains to "what a bee sting feels like". Just yesterday that story almost changed.

See we were on the road with the windows down enjoying the full blast of cool air rushing into the car as we finally had some nice weather! Trailing along I suddenly felt something on my nose. It felt heavier than hair so I reached up to wipe it away. It falls right into my cleavage, what bug falls down when your wipe it away??

I look down and see a somewhat fuzzy bug with black and yellow stripes. That's when I freak out and start stabbing at my chest with my hand trying to get to it before it got me. Meanwhile, The Lover in the driver's seat is trying to figure out why I'm screaming, staring at my chest, and beating the shit out of his crown jewels.

After about 30 seconds I slowed to see if it was smushed in my bra (gross) or if I had more stabbing to do. I couldn't find the thing. It was NOWHERE to be found. "GREAT!" I thought, I have no idea if it came out on one of my upward movements or what but now I had to search everywhere for this freakish breast attacker. The Lover didn't necessarily help my spazz attack by saying things like "If it's not dead it could crawl up our legs and sting us" and "You sure it's not in your bra somewhere? Want me to pull over so you can look?"

We never did find it and I couldn't confirm if it was in fact a bee or something worse, he seemed a little furry but those stripes were enough convincing for me to fight. I can only imagine what the entire debacle looked like to people walking in the streets, or riding passed us, or even from The Lover's viewpoint. At least my quick ninja moves saved me from one of the worst pains known to man however it was far too close this time...

1 comment:

Vern said...

Often times bugs flying will hit the open window frame, and fly into the vehicle, but most times, by then, they are dead. You still need to be careful if it fell into your blouse, as a bee or worse, a wasp sting, can cause allergic reactions.